The Tale of a Pink Haired Drunk
by Chrisy Gilga
Summary: Hehe... What happens when Szayel gets a hold of some alcohol? Read and find out...


Hehe….. This is just a little one-shot on what happens one Szayel gets ahold of some alcohol…. Oh lord….. ANYWAYS….. I DON'T FREAKIN OWN BLEACH! IF I DID WOULD I BE SITTING HERE WRITING FANFICS? NO! I'd go re-write it to where Nnoitra never died and for my friend Destiny… To where Gin and Szayel don't die either…. Oh yea…. I also don't own Destiny….. Szayel owns her ^_^ and Nnoitra owns me! And there is a little yaoi later in the story… Don't like yaoi you say? Well that's not my problem now is it… Don't read this then…. You probably won't like it. Now then, I believe that covers it…. Oh and also there the use of not nice words… Don't like don't read…..

Hehe…. HIIIII DESTINYYYYYY!

I slowly walked down the hallway towards Nnoitras bedroom trying to avoid the blonde who was running after me screaming me name…. "OI! BITCH TURN AROUND AND LISTEN TO ME!" I sighed and turned around. The blonde standing behind me was about 5'6 rather short blonde hair. Her blue eyes boring into my own. "What now? I have stuff to go do….." She stared at my questionably. "Stuff? Dontcha mean go let Nnoitra fuck you senseless?" I glared at her. "Shut up. Now, didn't you have something important to tell me?" "Huh? Oh yea. Well…. I have a plan…. A plan to get Szayel drunk…." My eyes widened she was kidding right? Szayel? Drunk? There was no way. That stuck up little pink bastard…. There's no way he'd even touch a drink…. "Riiiiight…. And, how are you supposed to even GET Szayel to drink something….?" A look of confusion crossed her face. "I dunno…. I'll think of somethin… And you're going to help me… Come to the lab later….. And, you can bring Nnoitra along with you…." I smiled. "Good, now then I believe I have somewhere to be right now…." I turned back around and started to walk back to Nnoitras room.

_A few hours later….._

I stood outside the door to Szayels lab holding a few bottles of sake. "Why did ya drag me down here again?" I stared up at him. "Because, apparently Destiny has a plan to get the pink haired bastard drunk…. Dontcha wanna see that? Even a little?" He stood there thoughtfully before giving me that typical shit eating grin "Alright…. But, don't forget yer promise…" I sighed. "Yes yes I won't forget Nnoitra…" I knocked on the door to the lab. "Bitchhhhhh! I'm hereeeeee! I have liquorrrrr!" The door opened and I saw a rather displeased Szayel looking at me. "It's you." I frowned. "Yes… It's nice to see you to priss…." Szayel just glared at me. We had never really gotten along yet we had some sort of friendship. "Destiny! Im here!" I looked over Szayels shoulder searching for the blonde. I soon saw her walking over to Szayel. She shoved him out of the way. "Hi Christine!" She smiled. "Well somebodys feeling nice today….." She giggled. "Hehe come in…" She ushered us in. "Huh… Well I have sake." I held up the bottles I was holding. I passed one to her and one to Nnoitra. I opened up my bottle and begun to drink from it. "How are you supposed to get prissy over there to drink something anyway?" I pointed over to where Szayel was standing he looked at us disapprovingly. Destiny smiled wickedly. "Oh don't worry…. I've got an idea…. And you're going to help me.." She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Ah, I see…. Yea that sounds reasonable…." I smiled and nodded my head. "Alright let's do this." I took a large drink from my bottle before walking over to Szayel. "Hello Szayel….." I then grabbed him pinning his arms to his sides. "Destiny! NOW!" She ran up and forced a bottle of sake in the octavas mouth and unless he wanted to choke he was going to have to swallow the sake. He started swallowing and I smiled this WAS going to work. "GAH! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" Szayel was obviously pretty pissed off. I looked over at Nnoitra who was now stumbling around the lab drunk. "Welcome to the world of sake you pink haired priss….." His eyes widened. "You…. You didn't…" I smiled and let go of Szayel. "Yes… Yes I just did Szayel." It didn't take long for Szayel to start stumbling around making a complete idiot of himself. Destiny grabbed a video camera and started filming him. I started laughing extremely hard and I soon fell out of the chair I was sitting in. Then something I never expected happened Szayel stumbled over to Nnoitra and started kissing him and surprisingly Nnoitra kissed him back… My eyes grew huge. "Whoaaaa… I have TOTALLY got to show this to everyone in Las Noches…." I looked over at Destiny. "Whaaaat? No you can't do thatttttt!" "WHYYYY?" She whined. "Becauseeeee! If there's one thing I learned from being around Nnoitra all these years…. It's how to blackmail someone…. We have to wait till we need something from them…" She looked at me. "Oh yeaa… That makes sense…" When we both turned around Nnoitra and Szayel where gone. "Huh… Where'd they go?" Destiny looked around the answer to our question was soon answered from some… Sounds… Coming from Szayels bedroom…. "Hehe… I think THAT answers our questions…." I smiled and looked over at Destiny. "Well well….. So THIS is what happens if we get Szayel drunk…." Destiny said grinning. "Yea hehe… We have to do this again….." "Agreed."

A.N. Well well… This sucked…. Haha oh well… I only wrote this out of boredom….. PLEASE REVIEW! I REALLY LIKE REVIEWS! :)


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